Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? / Because they are really good at it.Why don’t big cats play poker in the safari? / Too many cheetahs.What did the snail say when it was riding on the turtle’s back? / “Wheeee!”.What do you get when you cross a lemon and a cat? / A sour puss.What do you call an alligator in a vest? / An in-vest-igator.What do you call a pig that does karate? / A pork chop.What do you call a fish without eyes? / A fsh.Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure? / He’s a little shellfish.Why do seagulls fly over the sea? / If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.What do you call a sleeping bull? / A bulldozer.What is a knight’s favorite fish? / Swordfish.Why did the jaguar eat the tightrope walker? / It was craving a well-balanced meal.So, whatever works, right? Corny Dad Jokes About Animals (Everyone who likes funny jokes, that is.) And although these funnies might annoy your spouse (and any other adults nearby), they’ll make any kid laugh. This list of funny dad jokes has something for everyone, from animal jokes to food jokes, math jokes, and Star Wars jokes. But honestly, an eye-roll from a teenager is a victory in and of itself. With older kids, it’s always a toss-up whether corny jokes will elicit a laugh or an eye-roll, and what works one day might be deemed uncool the next. For kids, it can definitely be a reprieve from long days cooped up at home, frustrating school days, or conflict between siblings. His biggest social skill is pretending he cared whether I listened.Nothing lightens the mood like the ridiculousness of a funny joke or riddling off a reserve of cheesy quips. My biggest social skill is pretending to listen to my husband talk about sports. Employee of the Bearimy November 6, 2019 I have three lingering, super-Catholic girl fears: demonic possession, stigmata, and failing to impress Madonna.
STICK EM UP SEE YOU IN THE FUNNIES MOVIE
I’m not the leading lady of the movie I’m the sidewalk goose that chases you to your car outside the theater He then playfully pointed out gray hair on my head and we laughed and laughed as he set up his bed on the couch.Įvery couple has one person who’ll clean out the medicine cabinet when things get old, and one person who’ll laugh in the face of death as they chug NyQuil from 1996. I playfully pointed out gray hair in my husband’s beard and we laughed and laughed. Wife: Omg…wtf did you do? I asked you to pick up a gift card for an 11 year old girl? I don’t actually understand commas, and I just randomly stick them where the voice in my brain took a breath. I swear to fuck I thought it was hair removal cream If you ever find out someone you hate is going on a road trip, make sure you remind them of the importance of staying hydrated. Nothing worse than hearing a new phrase or slang for the first time then checking it on Urban Dictionary and noticing it was first coined 15 years ago. Overall it’s probably good that my husband doesn’t notice blemishes or physical flaws, but I’ve had frosting all over my chin all morning and he didn’t say a word because he hadn’t noticed. We both learned something that day he learned a new number and I learned that he’s a huge gossip. My 4-year-old came with me to the doctor and saw me getting weighed.
I’m just going to let that go to voicemail.
0 kommentar(er)
